It’s that time of year again, swimsuit season. I dread it. I always have. There is always so much pressure to be in shape, but not just any shape, the “perfect” shape. I used to wear a one piece swimsuit for years, but I always got teased for it. I was just never comfortable showing that much skin.
About 5 years ago I finally felt comfortable enough in my own skin to wear a two piece. Every time I put it on though, I had to triple check that it looked okay in the mirror before I let anyone else see me. I guess I wasn’t all that comfortable after all. Sometimes I used an excuse that I was scared I would sun burn so I could wear a large t-shirt over it. Did it make swimming difficult? Yes. Did I care? No.
This is my first swimsuit season since I had Andrew. My body is very different. I am even less comfortable in my skin now than I was before. The stretch marks don’t bug me, but the saggy skin does. It is weird. I put off going shopping for a swimsuit because I really didn’t want to see what I look like now in the mirror. I finally bought one a couple of days ago. I went with a tankini, so I wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable. I was pleasantly surprised how it made my mid section look. What I didn’t like was the fit in the chest, and how my thighs looked.
Apparently anyone who needs a size medium top in a tankini has breasts that are at least big C’s because let me tell you those cups look huge. I am a B cup. My chest got lost in that swimsuit. It is a halter top though, so I can at least tighten it up enough so I won’t accidentally flash people (hopefully). I couldn’t go for a size small because that wouldn’t have fit my mid section. I probably would have ripped it. What they should do is have 2 sizes. For example, a size medium and a B cup, a size medium and a C cup, a size small with a C cup, etc. Makes sense right? Some of us just weren’t blessed with the size boobs that the people who make swimsuits think we should have. I already feel uncomfortable finding a swim suit that looks good on me, the last thing I need is to also feel like I’m not proportionate.
I probably should have bought some swim shorts to go with my swimsuit because of my thighs. They probably don’t look as bad as I think they do, but I still don’t want people seeing them. They did not go back to the way they used to be before I was pregnant. A lot of my weight gain is still in my thighs, and I can’t seem to lose it. I have to wear size 12 pants to comfortably fit my thighs, but I only need a 10 for my waist. I could put in a lot of effort and focus on workouts for my thighs, but I don’t have the energy for that. Kudos to those that do, but I would rather just cover up than work out.
I haven’t actually been swimming yet, but i probably will be soon. You can expect a post about that day sometime soon after it happens. Hopefully, all goes well…