Tag Archive | apology

An Apology to Myself

I’m sorry for being so hard on myself. I am my biggest critic, and I am often times too hard on myself. I bring myself down constantly especially when it comes to how I am as a mother. Everyday I torment myself because of a situation I could have handled better. I don’t give myself enough slack. I expect perfection from myself all the time. While that may be a great thing for some things, it does nothing but cause grief when applied towards motherhood.

I’m sorry I push myself to the limit all the time. Doing that everyday makes things so much harder in the long run. I get burnt out easily because I don’t give myself a break every now and then. Being burnt out makes me tired and puts me in a bad mood making it nearly impossible to be the mom I aspire to be.

I’m sorry I don’t like to leave Andrew with a sitter. It’s not that I don’t trust people, its just that I don’t like the separation. Anthony and I really do need a date night every now and then, but it has been a long time since that happened. I will have to deal with this issue eventually. I know I have to let him live his own life, and experience things without me one day. I will try to work on this so it won’t be as hard when his first day of school comes around.

I’m sorry I feel so guilty every time I spend money on myself. It doesn’t matter if I am buying something I need like clothes or it is something I want like a movie, I always feel guilty about it. I just keep thinking that the money could go towards something for Andrew, Anthony, or even my dogs. It is okay to spend money on yourself every now and then. There is no reason I should feel guilty for it.

I am not a perfect person. I am nowhere near perfect, but I still have a family and a lot of friends who love me very much. I have no reason to be so critical of myself. I may not be the perfect mother, but I am and always will be the exact kind of mother Andrew needs.

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