Tag Archive | humor

The Similarities Between Andrew and my Dogs

Have you ever heard having dogs is a lot like having toddlers? While I can believe that because dogs try to be independent and constantly test their limits with you as alpha just like a toddler is going to test his parents. I think there are also a lot of similarities between dogs and babies. It seems that way with my dogs and Andrew anyway.

Let’s start with the inability to feed themselves. Babies definitely cannot feed themselves. Even bottle fed babies can’t hold up a bottle for very long, and on top of that they have issues getting the nipple into their mouth. Dogs probably could feed themselves if they had thumbs, or easy access to their dog food bag. If they did though, then odds are they wouldn’t know when to stop eating. I always joke that my dogs would eat until they exploded if they had the choice. So just to be safe my dogs do not feed themselves.

Then there is the similarity of both dogs and babies putting everything in their mouths. They both learn with their senses, and in this case both touch and taste apply. Dogs want to know what something feels like and if it is delicious so everything goes in their mouths. Teething babies are also using their mouth to learn. When they try new foods their taste buds come alive and they decide if it is yummy or not. In an effort to soothe their aching gums, babies will put everything in their mouths. Some things like chilled teething rings are meant to help, while others like the random toy or the bib they are wearing won’t. It is my guess though that anything they put in their mouths will distract them from the pain and therefore help at least temporarily.

Then there is the case of feeling like you have to dress both babies and dogs up in the cutest outfits. Now this one doesn’t apply to everyone. My husband won’t let me dress up my dogs in costumes because he feels like it is pointless, but I still have the urge to do so, especially on Halloween. Then with Andrew I always want to put him in the cutest things I can find. Part of the reason is because he was given so many different outfits I try to put him in everything at least once. For the most part though, I just want his outfit to look almost as cute as he does. Andrew doesn’t care what he wears though. He would probably be just fine naked as long as he was warm enough. The same goes for dogs.

Even toys for dogs and toys for babies have some similarities. They all have to be safe for chewing. If they squeak or make any noise, then they are even better. If they light up then both dogs and babies are mesmerized by them. I’m not saying you should let your dogs chew on your baby’s toys or vice versa, (especially if the dog toy is flavored). I’m just pointing out that sometimes it can be hard to differentiate them. It’s no wonder that my dogs took so long to realize that Andrew’s toys did no belong to them.

My favorite similarity between dogs and babies is that they can fall asleep anywhere. It is so adorable to see a dog fall asleep in their food, but in my opinion it is so much cuter to see a baby fall asleep eating. They can both fall asleep in the middle of playing or exploring. They fall asleep in the car. They even will fall asleep in an exciting place they have never been to before.

Do you know any other similarities between dogs and babies? What is your favorite? How many of you treat your dogs as if they were your babies? Post in the comments!

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My 10 Most Common Thoughts While Watching Andrew Sleep

I find myself thinking a lot of the same thoughts whenever I watch Andrew sleep on his video baby monitor. Some of these thoughts send me into a slight panic, while others make me smile. I have a good feeling I’m not the only one who thinks these things while watching a baby sleep. See how many have crossed your mind!

10) His eyes are glowing and it’s creepy.

When watching a baby sleep on a video monitor, their eyes my glow. If that baby is in a dark room the light around the camera lens will reflect off their eyes causing them to glow. It looks like something out of a bad horror film. Even though Andrew isn’t sleeping when this happens, I figured it was close enough because I’m attempting to get him to sleep so I included it in the list.

9) What if his pacifier falls in-between the wall and the crib?

While Andrew never makes it the whole night with the pacifier in his mouth, he often times needs it to fall asleep. That includes whenever he is going back to sleep after a midnight feeding. The last thing I want to do after putting him back in his crib is fumble around in the dark looking for a nearly invisible pacifier. If I can’t find it within the first few attempts I start to worry that it fell in-between the crib and the wall. If that’s the case, all hope is lost for that paci.

8) He let out one cry. Do I NEED to get up?

Does your baby cry for a second or two and then stop? You know, just long and loud enough to convince you that he will keep crying so you might as well get up to soothe him now, but as soon as you stand up he stops? Andrew does that all the time at night. It drives me crazy. That first cry makes my Mommy Senses tingle, so I go from sleeping soundly to ready to sprint down the hall within a split second. Then when he doesn’t continue crying, part of me is relieved, but I also feel slightly annoyed that I had to wake up at all.

7) How wet is he?

Andrew sleeps in a cloth diaper that has two different absorbent inserts in it. Most of the time he can sleep through the whole night and still not be completely soaked in the morning. I still wonder throughout the night if this will be the night that he soaks through the diaper and if I will wake up to a surprise of extra laundry in the morning.

6) What is he dreaming about?

I not only wonder what he dreams about, I also wonder what does he have to dream about? Especially as a newborn. Babies don’t have many real world experiences so what is it that goes through their heads at night? I have imagined most babies would just dream about blurs with familiar voices such as their parents. As they get older I have assumed their dreams have matured, and they start to dream of bottles and toys.

5) Oh God he moved! No one make a sound!

This one is pretty self explanatory. Sometimes it can take an eternity to get a baby to fall asleep. As soon as you see him move, you panic a little and might tell everyone around you they need to shut up even if they aren’t making a sound to begin with.

4) Will he scratch his face?

Baby fingernails grow way too fast. I can barely keep up with them. Not to mention trimming a baby’s nails can be nearly impossible if they want to fight you about it. I’m always worried I missed a nail whenever I put Andrew to bed. I feel a bit guilty whenever I see him after he wakes up and he has a new scratch or two on his face. Especially if it is near his eyes.

3) Please don’t wake up yet. I’m still tired.

Even though Andrew doesn’t wake up at the crack of dawn anymore, sometimes he still wakes up earlier than I want him to. I will hope, pray, wish, or do whatever I think might work without me having to get out of bed to keep him sleeping. There’s never a point to getting up to give him his pacifier in the mornings because once I stand up, nine times out of ten I won’t be able to fall back asleep.

2) Is he breathing?

Every parent thinks this one when watching their child sleep, (at least in the beginning). It’s a scary thought and because we all have the fear of SIDS constantly hanging over our heads, it can be scary enough to actually make us go bother our sleeping babies to make sure they move. However, I’ve found that the older Andrew gets, the less this thought crosses my mind. I have seen him sleeping enough to know when I really need to worry about breathing problems.

1) Will he smile at me first thing in the morning?

This is by far my favorite thought. There is nothing better than standing over your child’s crib just after he wakes up and be greeted with a toothless smile. It warms my heart, and starts my day off better than any amount of caffeine could. I know as Andrew gets older, he will hate waking up in the mornings especially if either my husband or myself is the one forcing him out of bed. So for now, I’m going to my best to remember the mornings when he was happy I was the first thing he saw.

So how many of these have crossed your mind while watching your baby sleep? Are there any other thoughts you have? Post them in the comments!

An Apology to my Pre-pregnancy Clothes

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Dear pre-pregnancy clothing,

I’m am very sorry for the abuse I have put you through. I used to wear you everyday. I was much smaller back then and we were all very comfortable. Then there was a span of a better part of a year where I stuffed you into storage containers and left you all alone on a nearly out of reach shelf in my closet. I replaced you because my growing baby and constant chocolate cravings didn’t allow any part of me to remain the same size.

While you were making your new home among the Christmas decorations, I thought of you often. I worried that an intruder might find you, start gnawing on you, and leave me to find you full of holes. I worried that I would never be able to fit into you again, and sadly for some of you that is the case. To those of you clothes I donated because you were already tight on me pre-pregnancy, please know that things are better this way for all involved.

Now my pregnancy weight is starting to melt away, and so I have dusted you off and put you back on hangers where you rightly belong. There is still more to my apology however. I may be able to wear you, but that doesn’t mean you were as comfortable as you used to be back before I was pregnant. My shape has gone through an extreme change, and I may never be exactly the way I used to be. I may be okay with that fact, but it is unfair of me to force you to be too.

To my shirts: You were the article of clothing I thought it would take me the longest to get back into, but I wasn’t counting on most of my weight gain going straight to my thighs. I started wearing the biggest of you first only a couple weeks postpartum. You were still tight on me, but you covered my belly so I wore you anyway. I may have pulled you shirts out of the closet too early, but I felt a sense of accomplishment that I could actually wear you again. You all made a great sacrifice, but you brought me joy and I thank you for that.

To my pants: Most of you I am still unable to wear. I did have to go buy pants quite a few sizes bigger so I have something to wear until we can all be together again. There are two pairs of you I can actually get on and button. I don’t wear you often though because I can barely breathe, and I fear that if I were to sit down that you would lose your button. I will keep you hung up in my closet though as a reminder of my weight loss goal. Please be patient with me.

To my socks: Although I didn’t replace or even put any of you in storage, you still deserve an apology. My feet grew during this pregnancy. The amount of swelling I had in my feet made it almost unbearable to stand. You did let me know towards the end of my pregnancy that you had had enough. Those indentations you left on my ankles hurt quite a bit. The swelling did go away soon after the baby was born, but my feet were still bigger. They may have only grown a half size, but that is a half size you all had to stretch out to accommodate for. Sadly, I cannot lose weight in my feet. You are forever stuck with the burden of my near Sasquatch sized feet. I do promise you that I will do my best to keep my feet smelling the best they can. It’s the least I can do.

Lastly, to my bras: You all had the worst problems to deal with. You all had to stay with me throughout all but the last month of the pregnancy. You all must love me very much because none of you decided to stab me with wires. For that, I repaid the favor by using nursing pads. You had enough problems to deal with. I can tell though that a few of you have suffered injuries and are nearing the end of your lives. I will mourn you when your gone, but for now lets enjoy what time we have left.

There is one more apology I must make to all my clothing. Should I ever become pregnant again, all of these problems will repeat themselves. I know this is tough for you, but trust me when I say that your sacrifices are well worth it. Because of your selflessness, I can bring a new life into this world. Thank you.

Sincerely,

A happy new mother